For the past 26 years, I have been a picky eater. This is something that I only allow certain people to know about me due to the social stigma attached to it.
According to my mother, when I turned 2 I just stopped eating certain foods. Clearly I wasn’t able to explain my new change in behaviour to anyone, and to be honest, I still can’t. My parents tried everything – no dessert, sitting at the dinner table until I at least tried a bite, bribing me to try new foods, etc. Nothing worked. There was many a night when I fell asleep at the kitchen table and would have to be carried to bed. It got to the point where my mom would give me something I would eat, just so that I wouldn’t starve.
As a child, it’s easier to get away with telling someone that you are a “picky eater”. What child isn’t, to some degree? However, when you’re in your twenties you get weird looks from people and even weirder responses: “Are you serious?”, “Well that’s just because you haven’t tried MY cooking!”, “So you don’t eat blank? At all? Well, have you ever tried it before?”
And 9 times out of 10 the answer is “no”. I haven’t tried the food that you are trying to feed me. And to be honest, I don’t know if I physically could. Trying to psych myself up to try a new food is like trying to psych up a “normal” person to jump out of an airplane without skydiving lessons! I cannot offer any explanation as to why this is, but all I know is that it’s not as simple as picking up the fork and putting that food into my mouth. This is something that most people do not understand.
What I would like people to understand is this:
1) I did not CHOOSE to be a picky eater, I just am. Sorry.
2) It has nothing to do with your cooking. I still wouldn’t eat it even if it was covered in all the chocolate in the world. Please don’t be offended when I won’t even give it a try.
3) I don’t expect people to work around my “problem”. I have lived with this all my life and I manage it. I don’t want to be singled out any more than I already am when I have to come up with an excuse as to why I’m only eating a dinner bun at the table.
I would love nothing more than to be a “normal” eater. I would love to go out to lunch with my girlfriends and order “The Salad”, or to take a bite out of a red, juicy apple. But these are simply things that I cannot bring myself to do.
In my research into trying to find out why I am the way that I am, I have come across some possible explanations; one of which involves disorders or issues pertaining to the senses. Some researches have made the link between picky eating and Sensory Processing Disorder. This deals with an oral aversion to certain textures, flavours and even temperatures. While I didn’t completely relate to everything on the metaphorical checklist, some things did strike a chord with me – aversion to certain textures, attention to temperature of the food, etc. It does offer some sort of explanation, but I don’t think that they’ve hit it on the head just yet. At least not for me.
Until then, all I can ask is that people be open-minded and understanding. Please realize that we (and I say “we” as there are many of us…check out http://www.pickyeatingadults.com/ ) are not choosing to be difficult. It’s just how we’re made and most, if not all of us, would change if we could.
And if you are a parent to a picky child, I would like to plead on your child’s behalf: please do not punish your child for not trying new foods. I know that it’s frustrating and that it turns mealtime into a battle-ground, but just try to be open to the possibility that there could be some underlying factors at play. Be attune to what foods they do like and indentify some common characteristics – Are they similar in texture? Does your child prefer raw veggies to cooked ones? Do they prefer sour to sweet? Bitter to salty? Once you notice a pattern, try them with similar foods.
In the cases with children, most of them do grow out of their “picky eating”. All I am saying is that there are some of us who don’t. And we are normal functioning, healthy people.
Thank you so much for sharing Christina! I'm the same way, I was so picky when I was a kid that my mom usually had to make a second dinner just for me. I've broadened my horizons somewhat as an adult, but still refuse to touch a lot of things, and have caught a lot of hell for it ("You don't like mushrooms?! But they're delicious!" Not to me!). I see Sophie starting to become the same way, she's very picky about texture in particular. Thanks for reminding me that I need to be more patient with her!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with being a picky eater. I was a picky eater as a child...until I moved out on my own and discovered my own sense of adventure. It's true that some kids just grow out of it. But other kids are just so traumatized by the eating experience that it lingers into adulthood. I realize this and I've sworn myself to not do this to my own children.
ReplyDeleteThese days I'll try anything. But I still retained some of my old aversions. There are just some things that I refuse to try/eat. I won't eat peas. And I get a lot of flack for it - not quite sure why!